1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:04,526
Check me out, Clem.
I'm ready to go

2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,832
to Walt and Rose's
on time. Happy?

3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,095
I would be happier

4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,835
if you weren't wearing
my favorite pants.

5
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,664
Oh, honey,

6
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,753
you can't pull these off.

7
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,756
Whoa, those are
some dope kicks.

8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,931
When'd you get Yeezys?

9
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,498
Bigger question:

10
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,458
How does someone in their
late 40s know what Yeezys are?

11
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,982
I'm 30 and a
college professor.

12
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,984
My finger is
on the pulse.

13
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,205
He just learned about them
on 60 Minutes.

14
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,685
That is not true.

15
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,426
It was the Sunday
Style section

16
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,863
of The New York Times.
Thank you.

17
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,692
How'd you pay for
Yeezys, Shannon?

18
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,259
Aren't they
super expensive?

19
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:43,826
Won 'em off some dumb rich girl.

20
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,088
You know how when
someone gets arrested

21
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,307
they'll read
their Miranda rights?

22
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,699
Mm-hmm.I bet her

23
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,006
I can recite 'em by heart.

24
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,269
How do you know
the Miranda rights?

25
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,142
Because our dad is a cop.Mm.

26
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,579
Yeah, that's... why I know them.

27
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,930
So, who is this girl?

28
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,671
Some stuck-up idiot.

29
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,107
My new school's full of 'em.

30
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,630
Always doing their makeup
in the bathroom

31
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,676
when people
are just trying to vape.

32
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,853
Other people. Bad people.

33
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,377
It never changes.

34
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:15,771
When I was in high school,
the mean girls, they would...

35
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,164
talk about me behind my back

36
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,861
and start rumors
that I was a slut.

37
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,255
And also rumors
that weren'ttrue.

38
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,129
[knocking]Got it.

39
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,873
Freddy, my man!

40
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,793
Dad. Hi. You're here.

41
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,144
Yet we did not invite you.

42
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,451
I need a family picture
for that newsletter thing

43
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,453
they put out
at the precinct.

44
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,890
It's... it's silly,
but in the next issue,

45
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,153
I'm Hero of the Month.NICK:
Nice, Freddy.

46
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,416
What'd you do, like,
solve some big murder case?

47
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,636
Well, I hate to brag,
but, uh...

48
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:57,334
I'm sleeping with the woman
who puts out the newsletter.

49
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,424
Here.

50
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,165
Take a picture

51
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,515
of me and my girls.Sure thing.
You know,

52
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,127
I called you the other day about
lunch-- did you get my message?

53
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,260
Yep. Now, take the picture,
Annie Leibovitz.

54
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:14,656
So I guess that's a no
on Benihana.

55
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,180
[shutter clicks]

56
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,530
Great. Now, Shannon,
here, you put this on.

57
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:20,749
What is this?

58
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,272
Dad, it's not my birthday.

59
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:25,623
Well, it's in case they
make me Hero again in July.

60
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,147
Ugh.

61
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,933
My birthday's in November.

62
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,196
Whatever. Just smile.

63
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,024
FREDDY:
Great.

64
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,504
Dad, what's really going on?

65
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,594
Why do you ruin every nice
moment that we have, Clem?

66
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,162
Come on, we'll
do graduation

67
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:45,165
and a couple of Christmas shots.

68
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,949
Come on, Dad, spill it.

69
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,995
All right. Fine.

70
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,475
Those bastards at the IRS

71
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,782
are sending an agent over
to audit me,

72
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,653
and I've been claiming you
as dependents.

73
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,220
So I need

74
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:59,222
to scatter some photos
around my place

75
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,921
to make it look like
you're still living with me.

76
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,185
Also, I'm gonna need
a couple of bras

77
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,187
to hang in the bathroom.

78
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,799
[laughing]:
Come on, Freddy,

79
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,322
what's...
what's the real story?

80
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,587
Oh, my God,
that's the real story.

81
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,330
Dad, how are
you a cop

82
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,246
and yet basically
everything you do is illegal?

83
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,901
What am I gonna do,
arrest myself?

84
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,731
Quick Halloween one.

85
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,995
Boo!

86
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,911
♪

87
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,438
Hey!Ah...

88
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,223
here are
our favorite people.

89
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,485
Hey.

90
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,703
Ooh, thank you.

91
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,575
Now, see, this is
how you greet family.

92
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,925
Oh, my God, Nick,
are you still butt-hurt

93
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,754
because my dad doesn't want
to be besties with you?

94
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,277
I'm just trying to
have a relationship

95
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,323
with a guy that's gonna
be my father-in-law.

96
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,977
And if that makes me butt-hurt,
then yes, my butt is hurt.

97
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,631
CLEM:
I don't know

98
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,155
why you think my dad's
ever gonna like you.

99
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,635
The man doesn't
like anybody.

100
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,377
I once saw him
flip off a baby.

101
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,728
Well, how could anyone
not like myson? Mwah!

102
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,122
Well, maybe it's because
Nick never asked Freddy

103
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,993
for his blessing to marry Clem.

104
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,473
Well, it never crossed my mind,

105
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,562
because I was under the
impression that Freddy was dead.

106
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:22,262
You know, because Clem
told me he was dead.

107
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,656
I only told you that
because I thought

108
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,398
that if you ever met him,
you would think less of me.

109
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,486
And then you met Shannon,

110
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,445
and I realized that...

111
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:34,099
you'd accept anything.

112
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,015
You know, Nick, honey,
it's never too late.

113
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,539
There's still time
to ask Freddy.

114
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,410
Maybe I should.No. Please.

115
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,803
I don't care.

116
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,718
Yeah, but maybe your dad does.

117
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,982
You know, I remember asking
Rose's dad for his blessing.

118
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,332
Made a special appointment
to talk to him.

119
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:53,205
And you were
sostressed out,

120
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,686
'cause you were late.

121
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:58,385
Well, I was starring in
a Broadway production of Hair

122
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,996
at the time-- I got
mobbed at the stage door.

123
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,258
ROSE:
He got his fro

124
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,217
caught in a fan.

125
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,352
But he gave me his blessing

126
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,050
andhis watch-- it was his way
of welcoming me to the family.

127
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,878
Wait, wait. It's this
the watch that's engraved:

128
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,011
"Show up on time,
you little bastard"?

129
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,665
That's the one.

130
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,275
I'll get it for us.

131
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,885
You know, I miss Grandpa.

132
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,234
He was such a hard-ass.

133
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,106
Oh, he was.

134
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:27,631
That man fought his way
through the Korean War.

135
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,850
CLEM:
Really?

136
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,112
Where was he stationed?

137
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,157
At home with my mother.

138
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,075
Uh, guys,
I can't find the watch.

139
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,468
It's gone.

140
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,730
Someone must have stolen it.

141
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,341
Are you sure, Walt?

142
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,081
It was in a locked drawer.

143
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,866
Who could've done it?

144
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,042
[gasps]
I know-- the handyman!

145
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,131
He was in our bedroom

146
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,133
with a wrench.

147
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:54,049
What is this, a game of Clue?

148
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,399
No way it was Arthur.

149
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,922
He's a nice, sweet old man.

150
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,097
If not him, who?

151
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,100
Yeah.

152
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,799
If not him, who?

153
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,366
Yeah.

154
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,673
If not him, who?

155
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,806
♪

156
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,157
So, Shannon,

157
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,202
tell me again how
you got those shoes?

158
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,814
Told you.
Won them off that rich guy.

159
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,251
You said it was a girl.

160
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:26,211
Uh, yeah, that's
because it wasa girl.

161
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,606
But now it's a guy.

162
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,216
You see,

163
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,653
kids don't identify anymore.

164
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,176
Hes are shes.
Shes are hes.

165
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,091
You're a dinosaur.
Let's move on.

166
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:40,225
Shannon, did you steal
my dad's watch?

167
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,270
Me?

168
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:42,489
Steal?

169
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,927
Never.

170
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,015
Oh, please.

171
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,409
You stole a taxi
when you were 13.

172
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,412
Really?Really.

173
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:56,372
They caught her driving
a family of five to JFK.

174
00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:00,202
Yeah, and the cheap bastards
didn't even tip me.

175
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,422
Shannon, tell
us the truth,

176
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:05,250
or we're gonna take your
phone away for a month.

177
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:08,906
Okay. Okay, okay, fine, fine.
I did it. I did it.

178
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,474
Yes! I knew she took it!
I told you she took it!

179
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,999
Why am I celebrating?
I am very angry!

180
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,305
I'm sorry!

181
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,393
Sorry is not gonna cut it.

182
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,134
This is such a violation
of our trust.

183
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,483
How could you steal
from my parents?

184
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,137
Walt has, like,
a million watches, dude.

185
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,922
I took it two weeks ago,
and he just noticed it was gone.

186
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,229
Just because someone doesn't
notice something is gone

187
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,231
doesn't make it okay to steal.

188
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,276
Well, then technically,
I can't be blamed,

189
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,540
because I have never heard
that concept before.

190
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,845
Shannon.

191
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:35,977
They'll never find out.

192
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,022
I used gloves,
just like Dad taught us.

193
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,938
Can everyone
stop being so dramatic?

194
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,331
I will get the watch back.

195
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:43,854
Really? How?
It's at a pawnshop.

196
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,334
How are you gonna
pay for that?

197
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:48,337
I'll steal a taxi.
Give me three days.

198
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,167
No! The stealing has to stop.

199
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,039
I can't believe that
you would do this, Shannon.

200
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,215
And for a stupid pair of shoes?

201
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,217
They're not just shoes, okay?

202
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,349
What does that mean?

203
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,308
I don't want to talk about it.

204
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,789
What is going
on, Shannon?

205
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,704
[sighs]:
It's just...

206
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,490
everybody at this dumb,
bougie school has these,

207
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,579
and... I'm already
the weird new kid--

208
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,929
I guess I just
wanted to fit in.

209
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,454
[sighs]:
I get it.

210
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,065
I remember wanting
to fit in, too.

211
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,154
That's how I ended up
in mall jail

212
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,765
for stealing
a belly button ring.

213
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:29,073
There's a jail
in the mall?

214
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,771
It's awesome.Yes. It's fun, actually.

215
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,209
Look, this is no excuse.

216
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,819
I'm sorry that you
were feeling left out,

217
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,734
but we're going to Walt
and Rose's right now,

218
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,867
and you're gonna tell them
the truth. Right, Nick?

219
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,085
Uh-uh. No.

220
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,652
No, no.

221
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,219
No.

222
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,177
What?We have to.

223
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:48,571
My parents have a zero-tolerance
policy about stealing.

224
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,138
You know my cousin Eddie?

225
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:50,921
No.

226
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,488
Exactly.

227
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,403
He stole
from my parents

228
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:57,275
one time, and he was banished
from the family forever.

229
00:08:57,319 --> 00:09:00,235
Banished? Like one of those
old ladies on The View

230
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,542
when they talk
back to Whoopi?

231
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:05,588
Look, we can handle this without
my parents ever finding out.

232
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,373
Right. Blame it
on the handyman.

233
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,028
I like where your
head's at, kid.

234
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,682
No. We're gonna get the watch
from the pawnshop,

235
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,119
plant it in my parents' place
and claim we just found it.

236
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,686
And you're gonna
pay us back the money.

237
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:20,647
Good idea. I just won't take
my next two months' allowance.

238
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,302
We don't give you
an allowance.

239
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:28,132
Well, maybe if you did,

240
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,613
we wouldn't be in
this predicament.

241
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,310
♪

242
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:42,146
Man, there's a lot
of tubas in here.

243
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,454
I still can't believe
you stole the watch

244
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,891
and sold it to a sketchy
place like this.

245
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,284
Sketchy?

246
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,721
Dude, Dad used to take us
here every Christmas Eve.

247
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,810
Called it Santa's Workshop.

248
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:58,206
He made me get
my school supplies here.

249
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:01,296
I got a lunchbox
with a bullet hole.

250
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,821
Lost a lot of Skittles
that year.

251
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867
Hey, guys.
How can I help you?

252
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,259
You want a tuba?

253
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:11,001
Buy one, get
the rest free.

254
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,613
Uh, we're actually looking
for a silver Rolex.

255
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,267
Oh, sick. There it is,
that one right there.

256
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,095
Oh, that's a
beautiful piece.

257
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:21,098
Sure is.
Here's your $400.

258
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,665
Uh, it's $1,500 now.

259
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,276
What? We can't afford that.

260
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,365
[tuba plays out of tune]

261
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,937
Sorry. I always wanted
to try a tuba.

262
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,679
So let me
get this straight.

263
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,247
You gave this poor,

264
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,424
innocent little girl
$400 for that watch

265
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,470
and now you're charging us
$1,500 to get it back?

266
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,124
This is a pawnshop, lady.

267
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,474
I sell the items
for more than I buy them.

268
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,259
It's a radical scheme
called profit.

269
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,260
NICK:
Ladies,

270
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,957
if I may.

271
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,829
Let's cut
to the chase. Okay.

272
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,787
Name your real price, my man.

273
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,093
$1,500, my man.

274
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,268
[laughs]:
Oh.

275
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:03,184
You want to dance?
Let's dance.

276
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:05,534
We'll give you $500.

277
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:06,927
How 'bout $1,500?

278
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,538
Oh! Oh. See, now I see
what you're trying to do.

279
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,322
All right,
look, do-si-do.[chuckles]

280
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,455
$650 or we walk.

281
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,763
How 'bout you walk to
that ATM and get me $1,500?

282
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,767
This guy's a really good dancer.

283
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,466
No. No! No!

284
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,468
Get out!

285
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,080
Now how are we gonna
get the watch back?

286
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,778
Come on, Shannon.

287
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:34,824
We know how to get
the watch back.

288
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:40,047
Damn it.

289
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:44,921
I thought you were Uber Eats
bringing me my Big Mac.

290
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,444
Dad, I need your help.

291
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:49,404
And I need yours. That guy
you live with keeps texting me.

292
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,580
He wants to get together
and talk.

293
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:54,670
It's like I'm in an episode
of Sex and the City.

294
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,327
That guy is my fiancé.

295
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,807
And he's downstairs
with Shannon.

296
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,417
So I'm gonna get straight
to the point,

297
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,462
because the pawnshop closes
in an hour.

298
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,203
Pawnshop? What happened?

299
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,205
Shannon stole something
from Nick's parents

300
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,903
and then pawned it.

301
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,208
She did?

302
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,560
I feel like you want me
to have a problem with that.

303
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:18,563
I just need you
to fix it, okay?

304
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:21,871
The owner is being
a real scumbag, and...

305
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,960
How do I put this nicely?

306
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,963
We need an even bigger scumbag.

307
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,574
Look, I'm flattered.

308
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:32,055
But shaking people down
for money is one thing.

309
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,579
Doing it for my daughter,
that just...

310
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,407
feels wrong.

311
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,366
Fine, Dad.

312
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:39,889
Have it your way.

313
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,804
Where did you get this picture
of us from the beach?

314
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,458
Oh, that was photoshopped
from one of the pictures

315
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,286
we took at your place.

316
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,375
One of the hookers
in lockup did it.

317
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,811
She's studying

318
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,248
design at the Art Institute.

319
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,208
A lot of 'em are.
It's weird.

320
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,818
Yeah, well,

321
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,473
it sure would be a shame
if the IRS found out

322
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,648
that I haven't been living here

323
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,042
for the last ten years
like you claim.

324
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,914
Are you trying to blackmail me?

325
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,176
Please.

326
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,613
Blackmailing people
is awful.

327
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,007
But doing it to my own dad?

328
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:14,010
That just feels right.

329
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,100
[engine revving]

330
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,276
Dad, would you slow down?

331
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,104
The faster I go,
the safer you are.

332
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,193
I slow down,
I get distracted.

333
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,240
Like by that hot blur
over there.

334
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,458
Hey, darlin'![siren whoops]

335
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,114
So, Freddy,
I was thinking that, uh,

336
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,203
maybe later
we can get together and talk.

337
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,249
We're together now. Talk.

338
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,120
Nick, just drop it.

339
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,818
Look, I just never got a chance

340
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,428
to talk to you
before I proposed to Clem.

341
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,386
Are you trying to ask me for
my daughter's hand in marriage?

342
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,388
Yes. Yes. And I'd appreciate
your blessing.

343
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,607
It'd mean a lot to me...

344
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,827
[tires screech]

345
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,785
It's showtime.

346
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,137
Wow, Nick.

347
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,270
Swing and a miss.

348
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,489
Your dad is really hard
to connect with.

349
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,317
You want to
connect with him?

350
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,494
Get a job as a cocktail waitress
at a bowling alley.

351
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,367
Dude, why you got
to slam my mom?

352
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,372
Look, man, I know you're
just trying to make a buck here,

353
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:15,463
but I also know that everything
in this place is stolen.

354
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,595
Except for the tubas.

355
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,034
But I'm willing
to look the other way

356
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,123
if you help me out
on the watch.

357
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,733
I don't know what's stolen
and what isn't.

358
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,300
I'm just an honest businessman

359
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:29,520
who exploits people when they're
at their most desperate.

360
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,306
So if you want this watch,

361
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,395
it'll cost you $1,500.

362
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,833
So there's nothing I could say
that'll change your mind?

363
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,923
Only the words,
"Here's $1,500."

364
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,359
[laughs]

365
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,752
[laughs]

366
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,581
Well, I gave it a shot, yeah?Right.
[chuckles]

367
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,236
Don't get me wrong. I know
your dad is far from perfect.

368
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,194
But he showed up
for you guys today.

369
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,718
Deep down, I think
he's a good guy.

370
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,938
[grunts, shouts]

371
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,202
Give the watch to my daughter!

372
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,812
Now!

373
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,640
Open the window, pumpkin.

374
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:03,641
[muttering]

375
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,295
Oh, oh, oh!

376
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,431
Thank you.

377
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,433
Now say you're sorry.

378
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,044
I'm sorry.

379
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,309
So, who's buying me a Big Mac?

380
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,318
Okay, so you guys are
good with the plan?

381
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,451
It's not a plan.
We're just gonna

382
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,933
hide the watch in the couch and
then pretend that we found it.

383
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:37,501
Okay, yes, it's not Ocean's
Eleven,but it is a plan.

384
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,938
Well, you better
not blow this,

385
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,244
because I don't want to be
banished like Cousin Eddie.

386
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:42,898
I think I got this.
Watch this.

387
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,899
"Hey.

388
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,380
Wait, is that the... No!"

389
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,904
"Hey, Dad, is this your...

390
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,124
No!"

391
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,473
Pretty good, huh?

392
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,040
No!

393
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,914
So, we're having cameras
installed tomorrow.

394
00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,959
Ever since the robbery,

395
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,743
your mother is shook.ROSE: Mm.

396
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,746
That's the way you use
that word, right, Shannon?

397
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:08,097
That is correct, sir.

398
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,013
Well, I'm sorry.
I just won't be comfortable

399
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450
until I know
this place is secure.

400
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,451
Well, I'm not gonna
be comfortable

401
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,279
walking around naked anymore.

402
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:19,239
Well, that may be for
the best, sweetheart,

403
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,849
because we have windows.

404
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,460
And every time we go across
the street to that Starbucks,

405
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,288
we get looks.

406
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,597
Oh, God, we do.

407
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,209
I'm gonna get
dinner ready.

408
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,126
Uh, hey, Dad,
aren't you gonna go help Mom?

409
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,345
Wasn't planning on it.

410
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,217
Walt,

411
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,393
are these chips
organic?

412
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,568
I don't know.

413
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,135
Would you mind checking?
Because...

414
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,310
I read recently that,

415
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,051
if you're gonna eat junk food,

416
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,748
it really should be organic.

417
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,012
Because of, you know...

418
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,231
global warming.

419
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,147
I never heard that.
Have you guys?

420
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,322
Oh, huge. Huge!SHANNON:
Oh, it's a big thing.

421
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,498
Yeah.

422
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,239
Would you go make sure?

423
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,937
You know, for... the planet.

424
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,468
[quietly]:
Okay, he's gone. Do it now.

425
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,296
I can't.
Why not?

426
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,601
I don't think
I can pull this off.

427
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,342
I just realized
I've never lied to my parents.

428
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,953
What? You've never lied
to your parents before?

429
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,955
Clem, who are you marrying?

430
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,349
Fine, throw it to me.
I'll do it.

431
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:29,091
They're organic![yelps]

432
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,921
I love this dip.

433
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,488
And I love the fact

434
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:35,750
that we're doing our part

435
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:38,013
to save the environment.

436
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,536
Dad! Don't
eat that.

437
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,755
Wh-Why not?

438
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:44,106
Uh, because...

439
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,934
you're fat.

440
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,374
There, I said it. I said it.

441
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,333
Fat? What do you mean,
fat? I'm not fat.

442
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,465
Clem, do I look fat to you?

443
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,773
I just think he wants you
to look your best

444
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,079
for the wedding photos.

445
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:03,865
Yeah. I totally agree,
because you... [chuckles]

446
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,911
...are a whale.

447
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,479
Dinner's ready, everyone.

448
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,786
Rose, am I not
in great shape?

449
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:12,917
Doesn't matter, Walt.

450
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,658
You shouldn't be
walking around naked.

451
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,444
Well, I think I look good.

452
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,836
No!
No!

453
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,018
No!

454
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,326
Is that the...

455
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,067
No!

456
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,337
I know, I know. You guys
have been so cool to me,

457
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,296
and the last thing I ever wanted
to do was hurt you.

458
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:44,471
But you did, Shannon.

459
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,299
And I think what
hurts the most

460
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,998
is we welcomed you into
our home and trusted you.

461
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:54,220
I think what hurts the most
is the gratuitous body shaming.

462
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,832
And the trust thing.

463
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,313
Look, I know
this is no excuse,

464
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,837
but before my dad
potty-trained us,

465
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,273
he taught us
how to steal.

466
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:07,146
He called it
"doing number three."

467
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,324
So, you're not gonna banish me?

468
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,803
Banish you?

469
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,588
Yeah. I was worried
this whole thing

470
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,677
was gonna turn into
a Cousin Eddie situation.

471
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,461
A what?

472
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,378
Eddie. The cousin that was
banished from this family

473
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,163
because he stole a hundred
bucks from you guys.

474
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,253
[laughing]

475
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,517
You still believe that, Nick?

476
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,258
[laughing]

477
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,695
There is no Cousin Eddie.

478
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,785
We just made him up to keep you
from doing something stupid.

479
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,354
You made him up?

480
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,182
Yes. Whatever we
didn't want you to do,

481
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,748
we just said
Cousin Eddie did it

482
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:48,056
and suffered horribly
so you wouldn't do it!

483
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,232
Wait, so Cousin Eddie
never jaywalked

484
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,407
and got hit by a truck?

485
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,019
Cousin Eddie never jaywalked,

486
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,238
because he never crossed
the street,

487
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,197
because he never existed.

488
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,201
[laughs]:
Damn!

489
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,420
Your parents did you dirty,
Nicholas.

490
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,248
[whoops]

491
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,077
Excuse me. We're not finished
with you,Ms. Shannon.

492
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,080
Now, I know your father wasn't
exactly the best role model.

493
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,865
But stealing
from your family?

494
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:16,040
No, that's the thing.

495
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:18,173
Family doesn't mean anything
to him.

496
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,654
And it didn't mean
anything to me either.

497
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,569
Until now.

498
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,397
And that's because of you guys.

499
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,444
All of you guys.

500
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,099
Which is why I'm-I'm really,
really sorry.

501
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,320
Aw, Shannon.

502
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:37,453
Aw, you guys.

503
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:40,630
I don't want the people
in Starbucks to see me cry.

504
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:45,113
Honey, they've
seen it all.

505
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,816
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

506
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,862
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

507
00:20:54,912 --> 00:20:59,462
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0